Cracking the Man Code: Foresight for Men; Insight for Women.

What is a real man? Do a public poll on this question, and the answers you will receive will floor you. In a society that perpetuates conflicting messages of masculinity, it should come as no surprise that men all over the globe may be in a state of confusion. Is it shocking when we, as men, try to navigate between societal expectations and traditional ideas of what a man should be? I’m sure many men would agree that we’ve conceptualized a fundamental understanding of manhood through family upbringing, culture, or “natural inclination.” However, what if our upbringing lacked principles? What if we had no father or patriarchal figure to model after? How, then, must we discover the TRUE essence of manhood?

 

Roles Redefined 

Historically speaking, men, for the most part, were physically bigger and stronger than our very equal but different counterparts, women. This biological difference gave us a natural predisposition to “gender roles.” As you would think, the man was primarily responsible for hunting, gathering, and protecting, as his stature made him more likely to do it more effectively. The woman had the gift of childbearing, so naturally, she was more inclined to be nurturing and child-rearing, placing her in the home while the man hunted and gathered. This ideology has traveled through the sands of time, penetrating the minds of present-day men and women all over the globe. While this may still be the standard for some, has the modernization of male and female roles confused us? 

 

Due to the changing times and advancement of women’s rights, women no longer solely depend on men for provision. Look around! Women are making their own money, buying their own homes! Women are choosing when to have children and are more prone to being career-oriented, which leaves some men feeling displaced if he has traditionally relied on fulfilling a “role” as manhood. What happens if your woman makes more money than you? What if you lose your job temporarily and must cook, clean, and care for children? Are you less of a man if this happens to be your circumstance? The answer is No. Although there are “roles” that are essential, roles are merely a reflection of culture and tradition. From this moment forward, MEN, stop linking your identity to a role, a job, etc. Why? If you do, and your circumstances change, you have no foundational basis for manhood. Therefore, men MUST begin thinking in terms of PURPOSE rather than ROLES.

 

Purpose

Purpose is the why that explains the reason for existence. It’s an expectation of the source. It’s the cause for creation! It is innate, placed in you at creation! It is foundational and not continuously in transition. Therefore, what it means to be a TRUE man cannot be gleaned from observing the ever-shifting culture. Men need a foundational understanding of themselves. A sense of our innate purpose transcends cultural and traditional influences. It fathers the fatherless child when there has not been a purpose-driven male to show him the way. It is an internal light that no one can dim. So, what is a REAL man? I’m so glad you asked. Here are six core characteristics of a REAL man. 

 

A Real Man is a VISIONARY

King Solomon notably stated in Proverbs 29:18 – “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” This is not to be taken lightly, Men; we cannot wander through life. We MUST activate our vision. I’m not speaking of natural sight. No. I’m speaking of spiritual insight. True vision is an internal revelation of a future occurrence. A True visionary can see things that are not yet as they SHOULD be and work to make them so. A man operating in his GOD-given, innate gift as a visionary can look upon an empty field and see a housing development or an abandoned warehouse and see a homeless shelter. A Visionary makes provision for his family. He is poised, strategic, and intentional in his actions to bring his vision, given to him by GOD, to fruition. 

 

A Real Man is a LEADER

A real man was born to lead. After our vision is locked in, we prepare for responsible leadership. You know that GOD is intentional, right? He made the male first in creation because he wanted him to be RESPONSIBLE. By the way, that is not a matter of superiority or inferiority for those nitpickers out there. And for the record, YES, our women can also lead! However, this is a matter of position. Men, your position as a leader is inherent. You can’t decide NOT to be a leader. It’s not even up for discussion. Men are created for responsible leadership. You don’t qualify as a leader if you don’t act responsibly. Moreover, you don’t qualify to be the head of your home. First, a leader is submitted to GOD and his commands. A leader must then be an example for his wife, children, friends, community, and society. A leader is strong and courageous. A leader is strategic and logical, not led by emotion. His thinking guides him. A leader is a servant, putting others’ needs before his own. A leader also exemplifies extreme humility. He has a teachable spirit and is dedicated to lifelong learning. Men, it’s time to become the true leader that you are.

 

A Real Man is a TEACHER

Question: Why does a man always want to correct or direct things? The answer, in short, is that it is in his nature to teach, instruct, and provide counsel. A real man is devoted to receiving direction and counsel from the lord and has also dedicated himself to being a lifelong learner. He then desires to impart this knowledge to the people he cares about. He wants to feel as if he has contributed to the betterment of those around him. A brief thought on the intentionality of GOD… according to Genesis, GOD gave Adam specific instructions regarding the maintenance and expected behavior in the garden of Eden. He then entrusted Adam to communicate or “teach” Eve what he learned. Could it be that it is our innate responsibility as men to be responsible learners and teachers? 

 

A Real Man is a CULTIVATOR

What does it mean to be a cultivator? Put directly, cultivating means making any and everything around you better. If you walk down a hallway, that hall should be better simply because you’ve walked down it. Whatever you receive should be more fruitful, multiplied, beautiful, and effective. People should be better people due to having an encounter with you. Your woman should be better as a result of being with you. Ever heard of the term Glow Up? Yeah, lol. This is a perfect place to insert that expression. 

A Real Man is a PROVIDER.

In a book by my mentor, the late great Dr. Myles Munroe, I read that before the woman was created, the man was given work, which means that before a man is ready for marriage, he needs to be operating in his work. Work and job are two different things. Work is synonymous with purpose; it’s what you should do according to your calling. Job is a position held temporarily. You can lose your job. You can never lose your work or (Purpose). Operating at total capacity in your work will give you the means to provide for your future wife and children. Men, GOD gave us the primary responsibility to be the leading provider for our families. We should be able to offer our woman the option to work a job if she so chooses. We should be able to fully support her in pursuing her dreams or if she decides to stay at home and tend to the house and raise the children. A real man makes plans for those under his care. A critical point to remember is that being a provider is not solely confined to financial responsibility. It also entails providing spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

 

A Real Man is a PROTECTOR. 

Put simply, a real man’s presence is protection. He exudes stability and strength. His aura brings peace, and his countenance is that of wisdom. A real man not only offers physical protection and would never allow harm to come upon his family or those around him, but he is also a spiritual protector. He engulfs himself in Godly, biblical wisdom and provides a spiritual hedge around his wife and family. A man protects emotionally by being a sound thinker. He will not react emotionally to situations but will analyze and resolve issues methodically. He will show resolve when problems arise, bringing comfort in knowing that everything will be alright, no matter what. He is territorial. He is as mighty as a lion yet simultaneously peaceful as a dove. A REAL man is a natural protector.

 

In Conclusion, we have been bombarded with conflicting and outright misinformation about being a MAN. 

From blurring the lines of masculinity in general to what seems like an all-out effort to demonize manhood, these six core characteristics should serve as a guide to what it means to be a REAL man. It is innate. MEN, you are purposed to be great.

 

Yours Truly,

Brandon